I'm sorry. And I'm moving on.
If you've been following along, this one's for you.
Between January 24th and 31st, I shared a series of pointlessly personal and needlessly incisive posts, which I have since unpublished. The sharpest point of the proverbial blade was directed at certain family members, and this isn’t a space for family drama. Liberals and Democrats also caught some ghost-pepper-grade heat, and I’m sorry if you (reader) were negatively impacted. I’m happy to repair with you in the comments or a DM. My behavior stemmed from stress related to becoming homeless, moving states, and being sick at the time. I was (am) also going through a deep ego death related to the 10-year anniversary of my spinal injury and who I became as a result of that experience. It’s not an excuse, just assurance it wasn’t your fault. I see a bigger story here than grandstanding on “I said what I said”, and this is my attempt to share it.
It’s not “fuck you” if my idea of family is different from yours.
It’s not “fuck you” if you’re a liberal (or a conservative, for that matter).
It’s not “fuck you” if you don’t align with my politics.
It’s not “fuck you” if you don’t understand me.
It’s not “fuck you” if you don’t meet my expectations.
It’s not “fuck you”, it’s boundaries.
Moving forward, when it comes to my relationships, I am making a dedicated effort to replace grand “fuck you” statements (which dehumanize + cause harm) with boundaries (which humanize + reduce harm).
I have been dehumanized in various ways for most of my life, and it’s not an experience I would wish on my worst enemies. I want to contribute to re-humanization wherever possible, because this world is severely lacking in its humanity.
I am healing from severe access issues. As in, too many people in my life had too much power over me and too much access to my energy. Imagine being a blogger and giving random subscribers admin permissions on your website. I never did that, but it’s a helpful analogy for the way I used to let just anyone practically run/overrun/override my life.
In the past, I let a lot of people hurt me because I trusted them more than I trusted myself. Being indiscriminate about who I let in made it increasingly difficult to let in anyone in a meaningful way, because I was increasingly afraid of how they might hurt me. This brought me to resent not just those who actually did hurt me, but anyone who fell outside my (admittedly narrow) bias of who I’m likely to automatically assume is safe for me as the neurodivergent, disabled, hella survivor, trans baddie that I am.
I have revoked unwarranted access privileges with certain people, and I have called my power back. It’s helping me create space to connect more deeply and authentically, to receive love more openly, and to see the ways I am already safe, secure, and protected within myself and my community.
My love for humanity and life itself extends far and wide. My greatest weakness (and strength) is that I see the humanity in everyone. Even the monsters of our world. I love my own demons with a passion. But it’s taken me years and years to learn that just because I see someone as deeply lovable doesn’t mean they get the house keys.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and others is simply to set a boundary that prevents further harm from occurring. As someone recovering from self-abandonment patterns, setting (and keeping) boundaries has been one of the greatest signals to myself that I can trust myself and my own judgment again.
The strongest boundaries don’t have to be announced with fireworks (or artillery). They don’t require an explanation. But they do require us to develop the ability to walk away without looking back. Sometimes that’s the hardest part.
To those with whom I failed to set boundaries and lashed out at instead: I’m sorry, and I’m moving on.
To those still on this journey with me after the past couple weeks: Thank you for your grace and compassion.
Here’s to boundaries that let love in. Here’s to being loved in 2026.
🧡🧡🧡🧡